CORRECTIONS AND UPDATES: The Bibimbap Backpackers contacted us and informed us that they have been working separately from Seo Kyung Duk since 2012. Even though it wasn’t mentioned in the post, they also want to verify that they get no government support. They regret the ad they posted and will try harder to contemplate their promotions before posting.

From the Bibimbap Backpackers, who are a subsidiary of Seo Kyung Duk’s ForTheNextGeneration–you know, the guy behind the cheesy New York Times ads.

There is SOOOO much that is wrong with this ad, which they briefly posted on their Facebook page.

For one thing–THAT IS NOT A BIG MAC!

That’s the first fib they told on this. The other one–a Big Mac is 550 kcal, not 1055!

When I mentioned this on their Facebook page, they said that they were talking about a Big Mac set. To people not familiar with how Korean fast food restaurants run, a “set” means a combo meal. Fries and drink. Again, not very forthcoming in the truth department.

But really, we’ve gone over this before. Don’t try to make traditional Korean food look healthy by comparing it to the worst of American junk food. That’s so dumb! Was this the school project of an 8-year-old?

I myself love bibimbap, which is why this ad infuriates me. It is trying to make bibimbap into something it’s not. It has its health benefits from a variety of high vitamin ingredients. But it’s hardly the food for calorie counters. As an exercise, I posted on their Facebook page all these other traditional foods from other countries, including America, which have less calories than bibimbap. There are quite a bit. Bibimbap is closer in calories to a Philly Cheesesteak than it is to a Cobb Salad.

This is another area that they just stubbornly can’t wrap their minds around. How do they think they can successfully promote Korean food by insulting other foods?

Yes, I said they were comparing it to junk food, but I have run into this time and time again that Koreans assume Americans only eat hamburgers and pizza all the time. One young man seriously asked me how many hamburgers Americans eat per day. It’s similar to that study that was posted (and taken down) on the Korean Food Foundation website that compared sperm counts of people eating traditional Korean food with people who ate burgers and fried pork cutlets.

There’s this frog-in-the-well stereotype (I’m not saying racist stereotype) that Americans are fat because all American food is unhealthy. When in fact it’s because Americans are eating cheap junk foods and not exercising much. They have access to plenty of healthy traditional American cuisine, but they just choose not to eat it. Telling someone that bibimbap has less calories than a Big Mac ain’t gonna change the mind of someone who is craving a Big Mac.

The whole “Korean food is healthy” angle is such a dangerous and unproductive approach. For one thing, it’s not like there aren’t healthy options available to westerners, who are waiting for some Hansik white knight to rescue them. But also, Korean food is just as healthy and unhealthy as other traditional cuisines. It does use less oil and animal fats. Koreans are generally thinner than their western counterparts. But they also have the highest stomach cancer rate in the world.

After I posted a little of what I wrote up here, they took down their post. A pity. It was such a great model of how not to promote bibimbap.

I ain’t gonna be gentle about it. Korea has some fucked up pizzas. The American-based chains are the worst offenders, trying to outdo each other in how outrageously disgusting their next pizza will be. I think they’re doing some high stakes trolling competition with each other.

“What can we trick Koreans into eating before even they will say, ‘That’s gross, man’?”

Thanks to Max on the Pizza Lovers Seoul group, we know of this new creation (as in, Frankenstein’s monster is a creation). This is supposedly the Brazilian themed “Churrasco Cheese Roll Pizza.” Brazil does have some popular cheese rolls, pão de queijo, so it’s not as culturally random as VIPS’ UK promotion.

Says Max:

What’s culturally random is putting all this crap together. It’s like topping a pizza with Real Charcoal Barbequed Samgyeopsal, tossing on some kimchi and garlic, mixing some doengjang into the cheese and gochujang into the sauce, then rounding it out by ringing the pizza with hoddeok.

Their logic is that they’ve taken a skewer from a Churrascaria and put it on a pizza. It has steak (okay, not bad) with “snow cheese,” which is a shredded combination of mozzarella, cheddar, and gouda. I doubt none of that isn’t processed. It looks like it’s growing hair and needs a Brazilian wax as well. And they have sundried tomatoes. Not a bad topping on its own. Also, not AT ALL BRAZILIAN!!!

Honestly, the basic toppings don’t sound so bad. Ah, but then I see the Where’s Waldo of Korean pizza toppings–canned corn. It’s in every crowd on every crowded Korean pizza. And I bet there’s a sweet element as well because foreign food in Korea has to be turned into candy for children. I see a sweet chili sauce being offered with the standard garlic sauce.

All this for as low as

W33,900

And people were complaining that Brick Oven New York’s pizzas were pricey. At least BONY’s pizzas don’t look like a cat coughed up its dinner and a few furballs on a plate.

Background on this. An Itaewon restaurant wanted a local magazine to review it. After eating there, the reviewer sent this email in reply. I was given permission to re-post this. Names have been redacted.

 Hi XXXX, how are you?

I’m writing concerning the status of the article about your restaurant. Let me preface it by saying thank you for the samples you provided and for your time. 

Essentially, I’ve come to the conclusion that I will not be able to write a review of your establishment for the magazine. Well, to be clear, I could write it, but you would not like what I have to say, as it would include more negatives than positives, and that’s not beneficial for your business. 

While I enjoyed the chicken and the pasta, they weren’t inherently special in anyway to differentiate themselves from the broad array of options n Itaewon. I thought this about the whole menu as well, especially at what I feel are inflated prices, there should be something really to make it stand out from the crowd. 

I feel that is a good way to sum up my feelings about the establishment in general. I went in there thinking it was a rustic establishment catering to whiskey fans. That would’ve been something worth writing about. Besides your lack of knowledge about whiskies/bourbons/and Scotch in general, we were quickly informed it used to be mostly wines….then whiskies, but now you feel craft beers are big so you want to introduce those. Likewise for the menu, you said it was Americana, then specifically steak, but bringing in pastas and Asian influences. Also there was talk of becoming more of a brunch place, and having outdoor cooking, and some buffets, where people paid per dish – once they had purchased X amount of alcohol. 

In essence, there was no focus or main thrust whatsoever. I feel you want people to come spend money at the restaurant, but have no cohesive vision of what your restaurant should be. The interior and atmosphere you were very clear about, wanting everything to be “high-end and high-class, in a completely casual atmosphere,” which to me sounds confused and contradictory as well. 

You even mentioned that trends change in Korea very quickly, and you’re trying to keep up. That, in my opinion, is what is wrong with many of the new establishments in Itaewon, most of which will be gone in a couple of years once the public has moved onto the newest thing. 

Most of the real successful long-term business popular among expats have a very clear and defined sense of identity, with unique menu options, and those are what most of our readership prefer and expect to be honestly informed about. I could not in good conscience recommend XXXXX to any of my friends, and so most certainly could not put my reputation as a writer on the line doing so to the broader public. 

I have copied the general content editor and the food editor at Groove on this, as I want it to be in the open why I am declining this piece. I should mention that there are advertisements and advertorials available in our magazine and other English language publications as well, for a price of course, and the content would be completely up to you to decide. 

However, I feel something more drastic will have to be done to give your restaurant the kind of repeat, long-term customer base all food establishments need to thrive. 

I hope you understand, I am just trying to be perfectly honest. I wish you, and XXXXX, the best of luck.

– Ian Henderson

He don’t know Korean BBQ. I don’t mean he was inaccurate. He wrote a piece that was culinarily and culturally ignorant from the history to the recipe.

Gary (@GaryGlen) starts by explaining that Korean cuisine is highly influenced by China and Japan. There are some elements that are shared, including parts where Korea influenced its neighbors. But this again shows the tendency of clueless westerners (and even some westerners of Asian descent) to lump all Asians together. Korean cuisine is starkly different from Chinese and Japanese. They eat rice and use chopsticks. Soy sauce makes appearances at times. That’s almost about it. The part about European traders having a major impact is interesting, considering many were outright killed if they touched Korean soil up until the late 19th century. Hermit Kingdom, and all that.

The recipe, though, is where hilarity ensues. When I came to the Sriracha sauce, a Thai sauce, I stopped and tweeted the nuttiness of this piece. In the back of my mind, I thought maybe he was helping Americans who didn’t have access to Korean ingredients. It wasn’t until I returned to the piece when I saw the Chinese five spice.

Now we’re just playing stereotypes.

Sriracha and five spice are nowhere in Korean cuisine. In fact, those ingredients are harder to find in Korea than they are in America. And what are “Oriental noodles?” The crispy crap in a can from Chun King?

Oh… noodles that are “oriental.”

You know, I rag on Koreans that make western food based on their limited imaginations, like nachos with kiwi sauce, ketchup, and whipped cream (“hey, there were green, red, and white sauces in the picture”). This is the American equivalent. These days I get more frustrated with lazy writing and research when there is so much information available. My guess is that he wanted to put together a steak recipe with Asian flavors. Since it was beef on a grill, why not say it’s Korean?

Yeah.

So, authentic Korean grilled beef recipe?

Keep in mind that beef is quite expensive in Korea. It’s something we eat on special nights. I think I eat it less than ten times a year. So you want to taste the quality of the beef with minimal distractions–just things to enhance its natural flavor.

Get some frozen shaved brisket or some nice steaks. Throw them on a hot charcoal grill. The shaved brisket would need to be in a pan. Koreans usually cook their beef through. I prefer a little pink. Season with large grain sea salt. Serve with short-grained rice, kimchi, side dishes (may I suggest our popular Spicy Cucumber Salad), a shallow bowl of sesame oil with salt and pepper for dipping, a shallow bowl of that sea salt, and a variety of leaves for wrapping. If you have any ssamjang on hand (the stuff in the green tub) include that. Really, salt and sesame oil are all you need.

Save the five spice.