Vintage Post: Public Health Warning For Zenkimchi Readers: Death Burger On Sale Now

(from Andrew Salmon, author of To the Last Round and Seoul Food Finder)

I am not one to sound the alarm unless disorider, destruction and death is imminent – but in this case I fear it is. As you will know, I am one damned tough cookie, but just one hour ago I was  reduced to snivelling, mewling and weeping like a pouffe.

“What!” you cry. “What could possibly have been behind this demolition of your manhood?”

The culprit was a new product available at (ahem) Burger King: The “Angry Whopper.” This was advertized as spicey, but seriously – how spicey could an American fast food product be?

The answer is in: Murderously. A few seconds after biting into this innocuous looking snack, a hellish, sulphurous smoke began to curl up to the roof of my mouth. Then it detonated deep in my gut: Napalm.

No joke – this is THE hottest damned thing I have eaten in Korea. Ever. The only thing that outranks it in my culinary experience is a lamb phaal which I unwisely endured in a curry house during my student days.

After finishing my meal, I was not only agonized, I was also astounded – this is BURGER KING for God’s sake! I seriously wonder if the staff of the Jongno Gu-chong branch mistakenly added ten times the amount of spice this new product is supposed to carry…?

If a child ate one – instant death.
A wimp would last perhaps five minutes.
Korean raw green pepper connnoisseurs may (I say advisedly: “may”) survive.

Needless to say, this x-rated death burger carries my highest recommendation: the only time in my life I have recommended a fast food product.

(Note: If you are planning to sample it,suggest the following precaution: Place a roll of toilet paper and a tube of haemhorroid salve in your refrigerator 24 hours in advance of your meal.)

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14 thoughts on “Vintage Post: Public Health Warning For Zenkimchi Readers: Death Burger On Sale Now”

  1. I actually went to Burger King today here in the States and tried one. They must have really kicked it up for the Korean market because the one I got here was medium at best on the spicy scale.

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  2. After posting Andrew’s warning and getting some emails and a text message about it being true, I had to check it out for myself today. I now have one and a half Angry Whoppers burning through my gut. The half comes from Eun Jeong not being able to take more than three bites of hers. I read online that they’re not that spicy in America. It’s not the spiciest thing I’ve had in Korea, but it may be the spiciest thing I’ve eaten this year. I think that since it’s in burger form the heat is unexpected. It’s also tip-of-the-tongue heat as opposed to much Korean food, which is delayed heat. The ingredients are different from the American version. This one does not have the fried onions, and I didn’t see any jalapenos. But there were mushrooms and sauteed onions with a hot sauce. Tasty burger.

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  3. Actually, I ate one from the Hongdae BK, but I didn’t think it was that hot. I wasn’t a big fan of the mushrooms, either, since they don’t blend themselves with the mix of other ingredients. Because of this post, now I have to try another to find out if it really was that hot! Could be I burned my tastebuds straight off at the first bite~^^

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  4. Where did you buy your angry whopper in Korea? I bought two from Ilsan because of this article, and neither was even remotely spicy. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty annoyed at how unspicy they were. You might even call me… Angry.

    (I’m serious, btw, they weren’t at all spicy – and the jalapenoes were visible, but there wasn’t much of them.)

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  5. What rubbish, I just got back from Anyang Station now, I even made a special effort to try this amzaingly ‘spicy’ burger, and it was not what I’d call hot, just mild.

    Your integrity is lacking, man.

    Reply

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